Today in < 10 minutes or less we’re serving up:

  • The hard truth about tech and living costs.
  • My scrambled eggs, avocado, bacon, and piece of bread cost me $35… Pain.
  • More ways how life is now laughably expensive.

THE BREAKDOWN

Breakfast Thievery

So I go to breakfast at the Austin Soho House this weekend… stop judging me it’s a great location.

I order scrambled eggs, avocado, bacon, hash browns and ask them to substitute hash browns for the toast. I’m watching my figure… k. The total price = $35. Now I usually don’t cost assess my breakfast but damn, that feels like thievery. Then they tell me I can’t sub my toast and my hash browns cost SEVEN DOLLARS. I feel like this might be violence.

However, it got my lil brain motoring. Inflation, yes. But also, opportunistic cost increases. Silicon Valley’s narrative keeps saying tech makes everything cheaper over time. Innovation is price deflation. What do I think about that? I think they’ve never been a millennial or Gen Z’er on a normal salary.

I PRESENT YOU: All the ridiculous ways that life is now overly expensive.

Ok, let’s say it’s Friday and I’m Millennial Mary. I get up before work to get my workout in. I put on my $300 all-in Lululemon outfit to go absolutely drench it in sweat, naturally. Hold please, I tried the whole $50 Instagram China-made purchase route, only to have to replace all of it in six months.

I then proceed to pay $30-50 to have someone stand in front of me showing me how they stretch (aka yoga) at Corepower.

I stop after to get a few fruits squished together in a green liquid concoction (aka fresh pressed juice) that costs me $8.

Then I pull my car into a 10 by 4 spot and it costs $26 for my car to exist during this 2-hour period.

I head home to shower and feed fido. Listen, I made an emotional decision during the pandemic when I was locked away from all humanity, and I bought a dog. Sue me. Turns out about 23 million other American households — nearly 1 in 5 nationwide — did the same. Here’s the rub… my dog’s food costs me more in a month than buying said dog. Whatever love is love, right?

Small issue, now I’ve got to go back to work in the office. Fido is depressed. So I assuage my guilt with unnecessary low-cost items from China shipped to my dog monthly for $35 from Barkbox. No wonder it IPO’d at $2.9B and is now valued at $322M.

Of course, Fido also needs to pee occasionally and I live in an apartment. Thank God Silicon Valley is here to save the day with Rover, where they charge me $20 to walk and water him while I work. Market cap of Rover: $732M.

Ooo don’t forget to water the plants. I wanted some oxygen in my house since I was inside working all day long in order to afford the above-mentioned nonsense so I followed the newest tech play and bought a plant with a ceramic pot, it only cost me $90. Great #innovation worthy of the $16M+ Bloomscape has raised for sure.


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THE BREAKDOWN CONT.

Anyone else remember when these plants used to cost $2.99 at home depot plus $2.99 for this exact pot? WHAT GOLDEN WATER IS THIS THING DRINKING!? People wonder why there is a whole subculture on stealing plant cuttings to propagate. Now we know.

SILVER LINING. I find out I just got a bonus of 7%… of course, I don’t realize that I’m still behind because of inflation at 9%+ but let’s not get too dark here. I’ve driven my jalopy for years so I update to a new BMW (I commute so it’ll be worth it). But wait, it’s cold in NY, I need heated seats. Oh, I have to pay a subscription of $18 for that?

Alright, it’s been a long day I need a drink. But I’m trying to quit. I think I know the real reason why our generation is drinking less alcohol. Because the four drinks we need to chill the f out, cost $80… at a restaurant in NY.

To avoid $3,000 drinks and avocados, I have to eat in occasionally and Netflix & Chill. I, of course, get some streaming channels for entertainment. To mimic the options we used to have in cable that cost me $50 a month, I now pay $92.41 for the right to say constantly, “There’s just nothing to watch.”

Plus I gotta save up for Bruuuuunchhhhh. Those bottomless mimosas ain’t gonna drink themselves at $60-75 an outing. It’s my main form of #selfcare now because who has time to go get their nails down and spend $100 a pop?

Then I go on a weekend vacation and I rent an Airbnb, and it says the cost is $180 a night but after cleaning and fees, it’s oddly $340. Oddly my Airbnb’s are never THAT clean. IDK.

Probably won’t surprise you that I leave New York because I can’t afford to sustain my drinking and plant habit. I head to Texas because that’s where all the tech talent is going, plus Elon amiright?

A small tiny detail, my rent is now up 100% year over year with average rents here for a one bedroom around $2,500-3,000 per month. And my place has a tiny much-needed patch of grass I call a lawn that costs me $100 for the 10 minutes it takes to mow it every two weeks.

So I think I’ll become a lawn mower instead of a tech employee.

Total daily cost:

  • $20 dog peeing service
  • $30 glorified stretching
  • $80 happy hour drinks
  • $26 car sitting in lot
  • $8 squished fruits

= $164 a day (or $5,084 a month) *This doesn’t even include the normal bills, utilities, etc because I don’t want anyone jumping off cliffs.

Variable or monthly cost:

  • $300 Lululemon outfit
  • $90 plant
  • $100 lawn mowing
  • $680 Airbnb vacation (let’s say we only do this 2x a year)
  • $18 heated seat subscription
  • $92.41 streaming
  • $2,500 rent
  • $147 dog food
  • $621 groceries (although this must not include my cost for Kombucha from Central Market)
  • 60 x 4 = $240 brunchies

= $4,221.41 (a month)

TOTAL Monthly Cost: $9,305 or $111,660 yearly.

So thankfully we youngsters have a median salary of $71,556. Not a math genius but not loving the calculus here.

Let’s get to the crux of this again, innovation is definitely a net positive. Tech always making things cheaper, I’m going to call fake news on this one.


CONTRARIAN EXTRAS

The Not So Boring Section:

How Two 19-year-olds Turned $150 into $65,000/ Month from Remote Window Cleaning

These two 19 years started a business with only $150 that now makes them 6 figures a year. I love this as a first business as it’s super cheap to start and has a low fail rate. Watch to find out all their secrets so you can do the same.

Thank you innovation + inflation,

Codie & Contrarian Crew

This is my hill to die on. #freetheavocado