Never compare your progress with friends working in the corporate world

This is a topic I feel very passionately about, and I see many entrepreneurs committing this sin of comparison, so pardon the sheer length of this post.

But I feel very compelled to write this post as a reminder that working a corporate job and starting a business are 2 completely different (and therefore incomparable) beasts.

To quote the very wise Jules Winnfield (played by Samuel L Jackson) in Pulp Fiction (1994):

Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain't the same fuckin' ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Look, foot massages don't mean shit.

In the same vein, making money from a job isn't in the same ballpark, league, or sport as making money from an online business.

You must understand that it's 1,000 times -- even 10,000 times -- easier to make $1 from traditional employment than from online products. It's not even the same sport. It's like hearing a girl brag about sleeping with 10 dudes at a party just by showing up, and then wondering if there's something seriously wrong with yourself when you couldn't even hook up with 1 girl over the last year (pardon the analogy, but that's the first thing that came to mind 😅).

It feels like a fair and valid comparison, but they're fundamentally different pursuits. It's like comparing distances when you're running and the other person is driving a car. Totally asinine comparison. You might be running with perfect form and your fitness level might even be tip-top, which means you're doing excellently, but the other person still covers way more distance than you, despite not doing much.

This is why comparing dollar-to-dollar your entrepreneurial journey with your friend's corporate career is a stupid endeavor.

And this isn't even a cope. Think about it.

Entrepreneurship: you're starting from zero, creating something from nothing. You and only you are the only resource, and every single star must align for you to even close one sale. You are literally building everything from the ground-up. Very few people are even capable of just building something from scratch with their own bare hands, let alone selling it and successfully replacing their employment income with business revenue. Most don't even try, because they know they don't have it in them to do it.

Employment: you're piggybacking off years and years of shareholder equity, product development, customer relations, brand equity, business goodwill, infrastructure, systems, etc., and you have to pawn away your valuable time and years as well to a corporation. They essentially monopolize the majority of your waking existence! Of course it pays well -- how else would you convince ordinary human beings to perform horribly-unpleasant work that they don't give a shit about under managers they secretly daydream of murdering on their toilet breaks?

To them, traditional employment is a necessary evil and the only viable path. They don't have the skills, determination, self-learning capabilities, courage, and gumption to do what you do, and they know it. They WISH they did, but they don't.

So when you're telling your office job friends about your entrepreneurial endeavors, deep down inside most people are consumed with jealousy. On the surface, of course they sound supportive to be polite, but deep down inside they resent you for having the guts and determination to strike out on your own instead of just coasting on life like them. You can't expect a cubicle employee to really root for your success, because, if your thing takes off, you'll surpass them, and they'll look and feel terrible about themselves. They have a vested interest in seeing you fail, if only to protect their fragile self-esteem.

Trust me, I know... I've lost ex-co-workers as friends whenever we caught up, and I now proudly tell them that my SaaS business has finally seen some traction and I'm able to live off my business revenue, finally indulge in my hobbies, god forbid even enjoy a few fine dining meals, travel regularly, hell even set up a solo 401k and invest in crypto. While they put on a happy front, oftentimes they just cut the conversation short and then go cold/radio silent.

Somehow something tells me if I tell them I'm still struggling and burning my savings, etc., they would still be all chatty and friendly with me. Call it a hunch. I've seen this happen many times.

Ask yourself, what do you really value?

Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather make $2k MRR from a SaaS that I can grow at my pleasure, than to make $10k/mo from an office job under a demanding and power-tripping boss, not to mention all that passive-aggressive bullshit and the toxic need to pretend that you care about the corporate mission (and being gaslit that you're not a "team player" if you don't partake in a race to the bottom with your employee rights -- holy shit, I can go on and on) that's so common in corporate culture.

The freedom alone would be worth the massive pay cut.

Never confuse standard of living for quality of life.

And I say that even while living in a god-awful expensive place like California.

How to deal with friends and family who ask about your business

Here's the bottom line: you shouldn't be concerning yourself with your friends' or family members' opinion. Let's start there and acknowledge that first. By virtue of the fact that you have the guts and determination to start something from scratch, and they don't, you're already better than them. You know they're definitely not capable of that, otherwise they would have done it already.

My point is you have to stop seeking validation from others and learn to be content working in silence. I would block out all the noise and focus inward. If they ask about it, just be very vague about it and help protect their self-esteem, be the bigger man. No need to go into detail with your progress reports with people who aren't truly rooting for you.

This might sound paranoid, but I firmly believe that, when you're doing something extremely hard but potentially life-changing like starting a business, 90% of people are secretly rooting for you to fail. The other 10% of people might appear outwardly and even enthusiastically supportive, but really they're just waiting for their cut of the profits. Trust me, people only praise behavior in you that benefits them. If you think I'm being cynical, I think you need to be less naive.

So keep it zipped, share here if you must. No need to divulge detailed progress reports with people who aren't really on your side.

Because when they say things like this:

I didn't know your business wasn't making much money.

Maybe it's time to look for a job again, it doesn't seem like it's working out.

At a certain age, we just have to accept that it's not going to happen and learn to be at peace with ourselves. Learn to let go.

...it speaks volumes more of them than of you.

Who the hell are they anyway to criticize you when they're not even 1/10th capable of achieving all you've accomplished so far?

And words of discouragement like this hurt doubly when they come from someone we thought truly cared for and supported us, like a parent or spouse.

It's hard not to feel betrayed and disillusioned by the people close to you when they say these hurtful things and belittle/trivialize your dreams that you've worked so hard to achieve.

So just keep it vague, keep it to yourself, most people don't really have your best interests at heart, not as much as you yourself anyway.

Pour conclure

Always remember. It takes one sentence to tear someone down. It takes years and decades of blood, sweat, and tears to build something out of nothing.

You're doing very well on the entrepreneurial front. Keep up the good work.

I'm rooting for you.

Here at Indie Hackers, we all genuinely are.